Gold Digger – Story 7 – CLAIRE WAS RIGHT

Claire says scarcity drives value.

Claire says a lot of things that sound vaguely sociopathic until they turn out to be correct.

So when Richard texted the morning after dinner I waited before responding.

Not because I was busy.

Not because I forgot.

Because Claire said to.

And because sometimes the plan requires sacrifice and the sacrifice this week was my instinct to reply immediately like a person with feelings.

The text said: Last night was good.

Three words.

Well – four. But was is doing administrative work so I’m counting three.

I read it at 7:43am.

I did not respond until 4:15pm.

In between I drafted nine replies, deleted all of them, called Zoya who said just say you had fun and add a period so he knows you mean it, called Sara who said oh Mila, just be nice, and sent Claire a screenshot who replied within four minutes with: too warm. wait until after lunch. use his name.

I waited until after lunch.

I used his name.

Richard. Me too.

Then I put my phone face down and sat on my hands for eleven minutes.

He replied in eleven minutes and forty seconds.

I know because I was watching.

Here is what Claire’s advice does not account for.

The waiting.

Not his waiting – mine. The specific, excruciating experience of being a woman who knows exactly what she wants to say and has decided strategically not to say it and has to fill the gap with something other than feelings.

I filled it with work, which helped.

I filled it with a very thorough fridge clean, which did not help but produced results.

I filled it with approximately forty-five minutes of thinking about dinner. Not the strategy of dinner. Just – dinner. The way he said you worked very hard to get here like it was something he’d noticed and decided I should know he’d noticed.

The way time moved differently.

The way he didn’t perform anything.

I was halfway through reorganizing my spice rack by cuisine when I realized what I was doing and put the cumin down.

This was not in the spreadsheet.

Reorganizing spices by cuisine because a man texted you three words is not an acquisition strategy.

I did it anyway.

I added a note: emotionally tidying. monitor.

His reply said: Dinner again. Thursday. I’ll send the details.

Not a question.

I noticed that.

Not: would you like to or if you’re free or perhaps we could.

Just: Thursday.

Like it was already decided and he was being courteous enough to inform me.

I sat with that for a moment.

Then I changed Richard’s spreadsheet status from active to active – accelerating.

Which is not a real category.

I created it.

Then I texted Claire: he didn’t ask. he informed.

She replied: good. that’s very good.

Then, because I apparently have no self-control on Tuesdays, I texted Zoya.

She replied: okay but has D done that?

I didn’t answer.

I reorganized the spices back into alphabetical order and went to make tea.

Claire was right.

Which is one of my least favourite recurring events.

Spreadsheet status:

Richard → dinner two: Thursday. acquisition: accelerating (not a real category, I made it up). emotional tidying incidents: one. filing under: monitor closely.

Noah → still pending. this week got complicated.

D → [row does not exist] 

Zoya asked if D has ever informed instead of asked. I’m not answering that. I’m making tea. – Mila