“I Was Dead”

You weren’t supposed to stop here. This story continues inside Bad Bedtime Stories Club. Unlock every confession, full chapters, and the complete after-dark audio library. Join the Club

You weren’t supposed to stop here. This story continues inside Bad Bedtime Stories Club. Unlock every confession, full chapters, and the complete after-dark audio library. Join the Club

You weren’t supposed to stop here. This story continues inside Bad Bedtime Stories Club. Unlock every confession, full chapters, and the complete after-dark audio library. Join the Club

You weren’t supposed to stop here. This story continues inside Bad Bedtime Stories Club. Unlock every confession, full chapters, and the complete after-dark audio library. Join the Club

I had a problem. Actually, I had several problems. I was apparently unconscious in a supermarket parking lot, my groceries were probably being stolen by raccoons, and I was standing in a cabin I’d visited three years ago, watching a party I’d already left. Also, I was beginning to suspect that none of this was…

The first thing I noticed was the chandelier. Which was strange, because I was fairly certain I’d just cracked my skull open in a supermarket parking lot. But there it was. My mother’s ridiculous crystal chandelier. The one she’d bought at an estate sale and spent the next ten years referring to as an antique,…

Six eggs. Six fucking eggs. I was lying on my back in a supermarket parking lot, staring at the sky, and all I could think about was that six of my eggs were broken. The carton had landed beside my head. Half the eggs were smashed, their contents slowly spreading across the pavement. One orange…

I was dead. Well, technically, I don’t know if I was actually dead. Nobody handed me a certificate. Nobody introduced me to God. And there was definitely no bright light at the end of a tunnel. Which, honestly, was disappointing. You’d think after thirty-two years of paying taxes, the universe could at least arrange a…