Perfect Imperfection – Epilogue – Worth It?

The girl in the waiting room had a notebook.

Actual paper. Pictures of women’s faces printed out and glued across the pages. Different noses. Different lips. Someone’s jaw circled in blue pen.

She caught me looking and closed it.

Fast.

I knew that move.

“First consult?” I asked.

She nodded.

Then she looked at me for a second too long.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“Was it worth it?”

People had asked me that before.

Dana had.

My mother had found about fourteen different ways to ask without using those exact words.

Matt never had.

“Yes,” I said.

She looked relieved.

Maybe she’d expected something more complicated.

There was more.

I just didn’t give it to her.

She opened the notebook again.

A few minutes later, the receptionist called my name.

I stood and picked up my bag.

There was a glass door between the waiting room and the hallway.

I caught myself in it on the way through.

Stopped.

Turned my face slightly.

Left.

Then right.

My jaw looked fine.

I’d known that before I came.

“Erin?”

“Coming.”

I followed the nurse down the hall.

I still know where all the reflective surfaces are.

I just don’t avoid them anymore.